I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
