Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
