i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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