im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
