so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
