i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.