pedialite and red bull = repair kit
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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