Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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