I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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