their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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