Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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