He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
