Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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