Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
