OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
