watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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