Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
