My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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