Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
