So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
