Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize