Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
