His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
