i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
