I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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