Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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