i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize