So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
