i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize