she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
