weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
