I love black thongs
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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