i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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