Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
