Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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