I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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