I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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