I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
