It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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