i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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