Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
