ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
