I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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