She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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