you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
