your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
