Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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