before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
