If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
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I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms