Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i already hear my dad disowning me

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  (814): i already hear my dad disowning me http://tfl.nu/x26e
  Replies (2) Good night (2199) Bad night (747)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex

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  (314): he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex http://tfl.nu/lecw
  Replies (62) Good night (2122) Bad night (13289)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings

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  (206): A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings http://tfl.nu/86t1
  Replies (23) Good night (3225) Bad night (623)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.

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  (717): everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve. http://tfl.nu/thtu
  Replies (9) Good night (754) Bad night (3082)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking

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  (321): Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking http://tfl.nu/fefy
  Replies (39) Good night (7473) Bad night (1035)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.

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  (302): Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes. http://tfl.nu/niyo
  Replies (4) Good night (3883) Bad night (789)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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  (816): why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011 http://tfl.nu/szze
  Replies (9) Good night (2300) Bad night (890)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.

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  (340): $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end. http://tfl.nu/eqa9
  Replies (4) Good night (3585) Bad night (677)
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  (925): View more from California

  I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands

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  (925): I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands http://tfl.nu/dboa
  Replies (5) Good night (750) Bad night (2246)
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  (707): View more from California

  you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?

  (1-707): View more from California

  yeah, you wanna come?

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  (707): you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store? (1-707): yeah, you wanna come? http://tfl.nu/465p
  Replies (9) Good night (1650) Bad night (570)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man

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  (832): Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man http://tfl.nu/dtih
  Replies (7) Good night (514) Bad night (1073)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover

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  (815): Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover http://tfl.nu/dbpl
  Replies (4) Good night (829) Bad night (607)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo

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  (703): The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo http://tfl.nu/r2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (340)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

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  (907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face

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  (571): I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face http://tfl.nu/0ur8
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (218)

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