Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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  (901): I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game. http://tfl.nu/7tak
  Replies (15) Good night (573) Bad night (2352)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place

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  (843): the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place http://tfl.nu/6i8c
  Replies (16) Good night (5851) Bad night (851)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

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  (618): i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything http://tfl.nu/e4ud
  Replies (8) Good night (3680) Bad night (1063)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

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  (907): HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?! http://tfl.nu/krsv
  Replies (30) Good night (1125) Bad night (6881)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.

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  (352): I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern. http://tfl.nu/54kf
  Replies (16) Good night (3861) Bad night (914)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.

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  (608): I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus. http://tfl.nu/i1nm
  Replies (4) Good night (1752) Bad night (816)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...

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  (908): Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again... http://tfl.nu/evlz
  Replies (8) Good night (1364) Bad night (770)
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  (323): View more from California

  It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent

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  (323): It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent http://tfl.nu/xdm3
  Replies (12) Good night (2810) Bad night (712)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.

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  (641): My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days. http://tfl.nu/soru
  Replies (9) Good night (2892) Bad night (680)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.

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  (416): i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay. http://tfl.nu/0u7w
  Replies (20) Good night (3471) Bad night (606)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her

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  (865): He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her http://tfl.nu/a25x
  Replies (4) Good night (801) Bad night (389)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman

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  (520): Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman http://tfl.nu/fkwg
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (398)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.

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  (940): I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/gvul
  Replies (5) Good night (178) Bad night (499)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.

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  (512): He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever. http://tfl.nu/bmne
  Replies (1) Good night (735) Bad night (265)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.

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  (304): Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination. http://tfl.nu/22p5
  Replies (4) Good night (376) Bad night (180)

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