Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy