Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
