i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
