Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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