can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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