kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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