life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
