Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
