I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
