google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
