Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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